So... I'm the WINNER! (and other sugar skull non-sense)

Ha ha. I found out a few weeks ago that I did receive the Teacher of the Year award. CRAZY! I was very honored and shocked. It seems humorous to me in light of the fact that I'm not planning to return next year. None-the-less, God is good and it's all because of Him that I've made it this far in wild and wooly world of public education.

On a completely random unrelated note... I made sugar skulls earlier this evening! I'm having a Dia De Los Muertos party on Saturday night. We're going to decorate the skulls which is part of the holiday tradition. I would have taken a picture to accompany this post, but alas, I left my camera at school. I'll be sure to take photos after they're decorated. I snagged this photo from the web link up above.

Adios!

Affirmations from God

While I was in Lubbock this weekend I randomly picked up a real estate guide. Low and behold... on the front page was a listing for a retail space with apartment units on top (exactly what I envision for Sparrow Nest). The address was 701 Broadway and I figured it had to be somewhere near downtown, so I decided to go and see for myself.

I found the building and slowly pulled my car over to get a closer look. The cornerstone caught my attention and I remember it almost like I was experiencing tunnel vision. I could not believe my eyes when I realized the the name on the cornerstone was "Stewart". CRAZY!!

Don't get me wrong, I'm not jumping to conclusions here. I have no idea where I'll move to start the studio. I'm completely relying on God to open those doors for me. I do believe 100% that the building was God's way of saying "stay the course... you're headed the right way!" It was an experience that will be forever burned in my brain. Thank you, God for this adventure!

On another note, I was nominated for "teacher of the year" by one or more of my colleagues. The leadership team at our school will make the final vote in the near future. The list of nominees includes some AMAZING teachers who have many years experience on me. I'm just happy to make the short list!

A New Calling

I had a huge Ah-hah moment the other day that is going to become my new topic of conversation. I've shared this plan with several people... but now it's time to really get this out there. I wrote the following to a very close friend and I'm going to re-post it here as a commitment to what I believe God is calling me to next. Please feel free to pass this on to whomever and give me any feedback that you might have. Prayer is always welcome!

So basically, I want to have an art studio in an urban/downtown area. 3 days a week open the studio to people for free. 2 days a week close it and work on my own art. I'd like to get a place that has an apartment or living space attached. The open studio would be run like a ministry focusing on people who are in poverty or living on the streets. However, all people would be welcome to come. I'd like to create an environment that fosters meaningful conversation and ultimately, conversations about God.

This all came to me so suddenly. I was doing a bible study about completely committing my life to God...reading verses from Matt about God protecting and providing for the Sparrow. Before I started the study I was feeling very distracted and anxious. I really felt the devil trying to distract me and keep me from giving that time of study to God. So, I prayed for God to bind up that force and send it away and I started the study. I just felt God saying, TRUST ME MORE! In the past, the thought of giving up a steady income has terrified me. Now, I feel like I'm ready to trust God to provide for me and a ministry. I don't care where the money comes from or what the place or the ministry actually ends up looking like. I don't even care where it is for that matter. When I visualize myself trusting God enough to make it happen I can't help but smile ear to ear. It would be a dream come true for me. It would be in line with my deepest desires and I believe it is in line with God's will for me.

I've always known that I'd like to do something like this, but for the first time in my life all the pieces seem to fit together. I'm open to the possibility and I'm totally okay with God leading the way and completely shaping the finished product. Right now, I've decided to start talking about it with anyone and everyone who will listen and just see what kind of connections I can find. I know God will open the right doors and the right minds.

I also know that the devil will be attacking me through pride. I don't want to be come self-righteous in my dependence on God or feel like I am better than others for trusting in him deeply. I know that could be a stronghold if I don't constantly stay in check. I want God to keep me aware of my personal motivation and to keep that motivation pure... that he would be the sole source of my desire to see this happen.

I'm going to finish out the school year and this lease and then, with God's help I'll move on to this adventure. Until then I'm going to keep talking, looking and planning... but most importantly, I'm going to keep listening to Him. He is the beginning and the end... with God all things are possible.

As a testimony of how the Lord is working in my life I want to call it Sparrow Nest Studio (which is really an idea that came from Jesus, not me). Keep this in your prayers and let me know what you think.

The Sparrow

I was reading about how God protects the sparrow... a verse and concept I am very familiar with, but somehow this time it resonated with me more than it has in the past. So, I think the sparrow will be a reoccurring theme in my art. This is just the beginning. Thank you God for self-expression and metaphors. They're brilliant!

Psalm 119: 145-152

With my whole heart I cry; answer me,
O Lord!
I will keep your statutes.
I call to you; save me,
that I may observe your testimonies,
I raise before dawn and cry for help;
I hope in your words.
My eyes are awake before the watches
of the night,
that I may meditate on your promise.
Hear my voice according to your steadfast love;
O Lord, according to your justice
give me life.
They draw near who persecute me with evil purpose;
they are far from your law.
But you are near, O Lord,
and all your commandments are true.
Long have I known from your
testimonies
that you have founded them forever.

For the first time in my life I have set my pride aside and allowed myself to audibly call on God to save me. I am so stubborn. I am such a control freak. I am so independent. The fact of the matter is I've been living in a prison! God wants me to be free in him. He wants me to seek him with a passion that I never have before. I am calling out to him with my whole heart. I believe that this is the LAST thing the enemy wants me to do... which causes me to call on God all the more for protection. I want to live a life that speaks the truth that nothing is impossible with God. I suck at submission, so that fact God has brought me this far is a testimony to his glory and grace.

He is giving me new freedom... new hunger for an intimate relationship with him... the possibility experiencing miracles in everyday life, things that seem impossible coming true. I am so thankful for His patients and His steadfast love.

Ahhhh Nature...

I was walking into my apartment after work today when this ginormous leaf fell from the tree and nearly hit me in the head. God always uses nature to capture my attention.

I love to look up at the sky and see what's going on. Today there are huge puffy clouds in the sky and the sun creates silver linings around all of them. It's amazing! It's so simple and so rejuvenating. When I made it into my bedroom I decided to lay on my bed with my head handing off the side so I could look out the window at the world upside down... again, very amusing if you make the time for it.

I think noticing nature and noticing the details in life are a great ways to train myself to truly be present and to live in the moment. God creates these things for us to enjoy. Children know how to do this... but adults, we've apparently got better things to do (more boring things to do, if you ask me!).

Any other suggestions? At what time in your day do you fully embrace the moment?

Peace, perfect peace.

I love photography! This is one random picture from the family photos I shot for the Estes' recently. If you'd like to see all of the them click here. We had a great time romping around the Bishop Arts District. The boys were great because their personalities are so uninhibited and they shine through so evidently in the photos.

While in Rwanda it struck me that Americans are obsessed with looking ridiculously happy in photographs. How often is that display of happiness a lie? I only say this because it's a struggle of mine. I like people to think that everything is great and wonderful and exciting. To display that my life is constantly those things is a complete lie. Let's face it, I'm just not that exciting! However, I find great peace in knowing that God is equally present in all moments of my life. He doesn't care if I'm grinning like an idiot or bawling like a baby. He is there. He is present. He is truthful. I want to be those things. Present and truthful. No masks, no fake outs. No smiles to hide the imperfection that is my humanity... that is our humanity. PEACE, PERFECT PEACE.