Monday, September 29, 2008

A New Calling

I had a huge Ah-hah moment the other day that is going to become my new topic of conversation. I've shared this plan with several people... but now it's time to really get this out there. I wrote the following to a very close friend and I'm going to re-post it here as a commitment to what I believe God is calling me to next. Please feel free to pass this on to whomever and give me any feedback that you might have. Prayer is always welcome!
So basically, I want to have an art studio in an urban/downtown area. 3 days a week open the studio to people for free. 2 days a week close it and work on my own art. I'd like to get a place that has an apartment or living space attached. The open studio would be run like a ministry focusing on people who are in poverty or living on the streets. However, all people would be welcome to come. I'd like to create an environment that fosters meaningful conversation and ultimately, conversations about God.

This all came to me so suddenly. I was doing a bible study about completely committing my life to God...reading verses from Matt about God protecting and providing for the Sparrow. Before I started the study I was feeling very distracted and anxious. I really felt the devil trying to distract me and keep me from giving that time of study to God. So, I prayed for God to bind up that force and send it away and I started the study. I just felt God saying, TRUST ME MORE! In the past, the thought of giving up a steady income has terrified me. Now, I feel like I'm ready to trust God to provide for me and a ministry. I don't care where the money comes from or what the place or the ministry actually ends up looking like. I don't even care where it is for that matter. When I visualize myself trusting God enough to make it happen I can't help but smile ear to ear. It would be a dream come true for me. It would be in line with my deepest desires and I believe it is in line with God's will for me.

I've always known that I'd like to do something like this, but for the first time in my life all the pieces seem to fit together. I'm open to the possibility and I'm totally okay with God leading the way and completely shaping the finished product. Right now, I've decided to start talking about it with anyone and everyone who will listen and just see what kind of connections I can find. I know God will open the right doors and the right minds.

I also know that the devil will be attacking me through pride. I don't want to be come self-righteous in my dependence on God or feel like I am better than others for trusting in him deeply. I know that could be a stronghold if I don't constantly stay in check. I want God to keep me aware of my personal motivation and to keep that motivation pure... that he would be the sole source of my desire to see this happen.

I'm going to finish out the school year and this lease and then, with God's help I'll move on to this adventure. Until then I'm going to keep talking, looking and planning... but most importantly, I'm going to keep listening to Him. He is the beginning and the end... with God all things are possible.

As a testimony of how the Lord is working in my life I want to call it Sparrow Nest Studio (which is really an idea that came from Jesus, not me). Keep this in your prayers and let me know what you think.

Sunday, September 21, 2008

The Sparrow


I was reading about how God protects the sparrow... a verse and concept I am very familiar with, but somehow this time it resonated with me more than it has in the past. So, I think the sparrow will be a reoccurring theme in my art. This is just the beginning. Thank you God for self-expression and metaphors. They're brilliant!

Saturday, September 6, 2008

Psalm 119: 145-152

With my whole heart I cry; answer me,
O Lord!
I will keep your statutes.
I call to you; save me,
that I may observe your testimonies,
I raise before dawn and cry for help;
I hope in your words.
My eyes are awake before the watches
of the night,
that I may meditate on your promise.
Hear my voice according to your steadfast love;
O Lord, according to your justice
give me life.
They draw near who persecute me with evil purpose;
they are far from your law.
But you are near, O Lord,
and all your commandments are true.
Long have I known from your
testimonies
that you have founded them forever.


For the first time in my life I have set my pride aside and allowed myself to audibly call on God to save me. I am so stubborn. I am such a control freak. I am so independent. The fact of the matter is I've been living in a prison! God wants me to be free in him. He wants me to seek him with a passion that I never have before. I am calling out to him with my whole heart. I believe that this is the LAST thing the enemy wants me to do... which causes me to call on God all the more for protection. I want to live a life that speaks the truth that nothing is impossible with God. I suck at submission, so that fact God has brought me this far is a testimony to his glory and grace.

He is giving me new freedom... new hunger for an intimate relationship with him... the possibility experiencing miracles in everyday life, things that seem impossible coming true. I am so thankful for His patients and His steadfast love.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Ahhhh Nature...


I was walking into my apartment after work today when this ginormous leaf fell from the tree and nearly hit me in the head. God always uses nature to capture my attention.

I love to look up at the sky and see what's going on. Today there are huge puffy clouds in the sky and the sun creates silver linings around all of them. It's amazing! It's so simple and so rejuvenating. When I made it into my bedroom I decided to lay on my bed with my head handing off the side so I could look out the window at the world upside down... again, very amusing if you make the time for it.

I think noticing nature and noticing the details in life are a great ways to train myself to truly be present and to live in the moment. God creates these things for us to enjoy. Children know how to do this... but adults, we've apparently got better things to do (more boring things to do, if you ask me!).

Any other suggestions? At what time in your day do you fully embrace the moment?